Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
