we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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