Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
