also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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