I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
