So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
