God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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