I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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