what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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