I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
