She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
