Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
