wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
