for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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