I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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