i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
