whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
