dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Small penises have feelings too.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
