There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
