My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
