Welp...herpes.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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