Can Purell be used as lube?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
