He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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