16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
