And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
