if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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