I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
