question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's rum buckets o'clock
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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