i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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