So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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