you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
