I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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