is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
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It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
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I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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