our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
