Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
