I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I will be naked everywhere
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
