you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
