At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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