I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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