Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
