i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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