So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
