i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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