Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
