I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
