Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
