Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
