were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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