Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
no, he came in my armpit
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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