I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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