Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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