No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
