no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
