once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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