I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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