You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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