He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
