Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
