you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
