I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
