Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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