bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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