How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
