hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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