Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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